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Name: thefourthstar
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Occupation: http://myspace.com/vennamusic


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Member Since: 5/12/2004
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ramonapissed

hey there. most of my personal entries are protected, as are all my archives. if you're interested in any of that, leave me a comment and i'll add you to my protected list.


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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

In which she sets his love on fire:

So, I know it's usually the girl's job in a relationship to be the romantic but the truth is I just suck at it. It just goes along with all my other emotional failures. When I plan surprises, they always come apart at the last second, when I try to say what I really mean, I end up being cryptic and usually apologetic for the fact that I can't seem to pull my emotions together long enough to actually communicate them. Mostly, I wander around just hoping people pick up on how I feel, which is a pretty terrible way to do things and probably really, really unhealthy.

Marky does not have this problem.

Often, the fact that he is so good at being emotional and romantic just illustrates how terrible I am at it. The last 24 hours are a good example.

Romantic Failure #1
Last night, Marky told me he would buy some beer and we would hang out and listen to the new Throw Me the Statue album he'd just gotten. I ended up leaving late from my parents and by the time I got home, unloaded the stuff from the van and Marky had gotten the kids in bed it was late. I had one sip of my beer and passed out with my head on his shoulder two tracks in.

Romantic Failure #2
Mid-morning Marky asked me repeatedly to make a pot of coffee and I was in the middle of a hardcore closet cleaning project so I said I'd get to it (by which I really meant, make your OWN flipping coffee, dude!) and never did. He kept playfully threatening me and I got more and more irritated (being knee-deep in seventy pairs of mittens and God knows how many coats that may or may not fit any of your children while your husband asks you to make coffee will do that) and eventually Courtney went to make coffee and on the coffee pot was this little guy:



So making coffee was only a front so I would find this little present. Nice job, wife.

Romantic Failure #3
Courtney asked me if she could use my laptop to check her Facebook and as I was vacuuming, I said sure, it's under my bed upstairs... she opened it and handed me a note Marky had left there for me. One hand on the vacuum and another on the note, I read it and grinned, setting it up prominently on our shelf so he would see that I'd gotten it and I could thank him later. Thirty peeled potatoes later into the starting dinner process, Courtney starts sniffing the air and says, "It smells like something is burning!" I blew it off thinking it was something on the stove... but no. Can you guess what was burning?



I SET HIS LOVE NOTE ON FIRE. Fortunately Courtney rescued it from the candle that it had fallen on before it was completely destroyed along with my marriage but man...

The bear's going to take away my award, I know it.

Really baby, I love you.


Saturday, July 04, 2009

I live in the mess you are.

 

This score at the thrift store was adopted by Jeremiah straight away. We also got a Kodak Instamatic (you know, the one that makes that incredibly satisfying "whirrrrr..... CLICK!" noise?) which has been used a-plenty.



For the three days of summer (before temperatures plummeted into the mid-50's) we tried to stay cool by playing in the water, sitting in front of fans playing with stickers and making "rainbow ice."





We also got some sad news - my sister-in-law Courtney is moving to Omaha to live with her mom. She's been living 100 feet away from me (although most of the time more like living with us) for three years... it's going to be incredibly difficult on all of us to watch her go. She's been hanging out a lot lately, doing art projects on the living room floor, baking and doing all our normal stuff.



I'm already trying to convince her to go to college in Milwaukee so she can be by us again soon. =)



Creative spurt! I've been drawing, spattering things with black india ink, typing letters, stitching words and pictures... (everything but writing music, which is what I should be doing.) The rest of my house is fairly tidy but this, this is where I live. And it is a giant mess. And I like it that way. 



Although, I wouldn't mind having a bigger desk. My brother Jack was over helping me with the car and he wandered into this corner and smiled and said, "I like it over here."

Yeah, me too, kid.


Currently
Zookeeper
By Zookeeper
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Thursday, June 25, 2009

We're a family, we are doing this, we are hopeful and we are alive.

Hey look! I helped Marky with something!
 
I drew and inked that camera all by myself and he used it for this poster. Given the fact that I am not known for my art skills whatsoever, I'm pretty proud of myself.

Venna is playing this show so if you're in the Byron area, please come out. It's going to be a fantastic lineup.

Speaking of Venna: we had the kind of show on Monday that had us all catching each others' eyes and smiling. We played at Reggie's in Chicago for Evan's cd release show and it felt downright victorious. We had a pretty rough time the previous Friday - we brought the boys with to our show and our friends Chris and Nadia were kind enough to chase the kids around while we played. After the show, the van decided to relieve itself of all its transmission fluids and we were stranded in Rockford until 12:30 a.m. the boys did really, really well, mostly thanks to the awesome entertaining talents of our friends. (Jake, Wulf, Nabeel - I'm looking at you boys.) The van was still not fixed come Monday and at the last minute, my father-in-law decided to loan us his car so we could make it in. The stars all started to align and the evening was absolutely lovely. I babbled on (this is why I don't talk on stage - it's never, ever a good idea) about how proud I was of Evan and his victory - the point i was trying to get across was how inspiring it is to witness someone who commits themselves to their art the way Evan did those 52 weeks. One song written and recorded, every week, faithfully, for an entire year. Again, I say, Evan wins at life.

You know, none of ever seem to have the time or money or resources to do what we'd like with our music so every cd release that comes out of our community is a victory and worth celebrating and I was really honored to be part of this one.

Also, seriously, the sound guy mike at Reggie's is my favorite. It makes all the difference in the world having a sound guy who knows what he's doing and cares about making you sound good. Love that dude.

Other favorite moments... during "Lovin's for Fools" in Rockford, Jonah came running up during the a capella break and goes, "Dustin! Dustin! I found this bug for you! Here!!!!" and then ran off again while we resumed the song. Priceless. Also, Jeremiah sat on my lap during "Danger, Past and Present." Perfect. I love having my kids at shows, even though it's crazy. This time was really disorganized but we could do a better job and I think it would be just fine. I mean, we're doing this, aren't we? This is us, playing music and raising a family.

Next step, an RV where we live while on tour...

Oh, whoops, started daydreaming while blogging again. Apologies.

It has been so, so, SO hot here, we've been either out in the sprinkler or inside watching movies on Netflix instant, slurping down smoothies. We've had a lot of opportunities to do really fun things lately - the 5K for GiGi's Playhouse was awesome! Tons of fun stuff for the kids to do. They're getting so big, it's gotten so much easier to take them places. We went to the Gathering Waters Fest in Milwaukee with Jess and Ryan and new baby Stella, which just so happened to be going on in the same vicinity as Pridefest.  Micah and Jonah questioned this poor girl to death about mussels native to Lake Michigan at this one booth (I'm not kidding - they spent a full 20 minutes sucking this girl dry of every ounce of knowledge she posessed on the subject) and afterwords, upon seeing a lovely couple wearing feather boas, Micah asked me, "Why are those guys wearing all those feathers?" I said, "Well, they're all dressed up to go to a party," and he responded with, "I wish I had some beautiful feathers too..." Oh, deary me.

 







I love this last one. There were all these giant kites being flown and Jeremiah found this little sparkly shread of something or other, stuffed it in the back of his pants and declared, "Wookit Mama! I'mma KITE!"

I love it.

This weekend: The Living Room (Mt. Vernon, IL) is having their last show ever and we are playing it, along with Evan so if you're in the southern Illinois area, come on out. After a looooong drive home, I'll be doing some fundraising volunteer work for GiGi's (Hawgs and Hotrods Poker Run!) and then probably falling asleep standing up.

Tomorrow though, I'm going to see one of my most favorite girls ever, and that makes me super happy. We will sit, watch our awesome kids play together happy as clams and drink iced coffee like the hopeless addicts we are. As an added bonus, she has a brand new baby girl I get to hold which, I confess, makes my uterus all restless-like (Why are you making me hold ALL THESE NEW BABIES WHEN THERE'S NOTHING DOING UP IN HERE?! WHEN'S IT MY TURN? WHEN'S IT MY TURN?! MY TURN NOW NOW NOW!)



Eh. Your turn's coming. Don't worry. We got time. Lots of time.

Currently
The Midnight Organ Fight
By Frightened Rabbit
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Thursday, June 11, 2009

I never could win, I never could win.


Ok. So apparently before when I kept complaining that I was busy, I was lying. Because this... THIS is what busy looks like. No blogging for almost a month! Crazy!

I would do the rundown, but that's boring. I'll give you the highlights instead.

The Felix Culpa with Alkaline Trio. Culpa played awesome, Trio are total dicks, Marky made the best poster ever. Dagger was all my idea.

8_kickstandalkalinetrioposter

 

 

Paul gave me a painted bowl thing from Haiti at the benefit we played. I made a boatload of cupcakes decorated with rainbow whales and woodland creatures. Ryan's little sister Brianna blew me away with her fricking amazing, tiny voice.


Dustin's house! Nabeel, Stephanie, geeking out over stationary and octopus stamps, pizza, whiskey (cough!), Sport's Night, pancakes, a pretty table, Paul Simon, Phil's here! Recording, chauvinism, more whiskey, cursing, McDonald's, Tums... the entire new Anathallo record from start to finish in the car waiting for the train. I'm home! No, wait, I'm back in Chicago. Schubas, Paper Boy, Bob Nanna watched my set, photobooth, (I love my band.), Evan's cds are in, Steff Bomb got a secret scarf? Oh look, it's Dustin's couch again. Hello, sleep! Dad's office, meetings, Hi Tom! Hi Steve!, back home, let's go to the park and eat Jimmy Johns. 


Laundry? Housework? Oh yeah, I need to do those! Wait, we're in Milwaukee! A date? Yes, please. Greek food, forest creatures, Wulf would rather be a bear, Ryan is having a baby - crap! No one else can keep a beat! Nathan, Mel, 6 = 9? Oh no! I'm Not a Pilot blows my mind. Back to our place, everyone gets tucked in.


Benefit for Jeff day! Beloit, bar, auctions, Ben, Amber, new baby! Nabeel and Twan give my kids life lessons, Jeremiah is attached to Tristan's leg, wait, we have to play! Kids! Be good while mommy and daddy play music!

  

After party at our place? Kids are asleep, yes please! Nabeel and Twan riding dirty, police station, Taco Bell, Gran Legacy, mixtape game, back to bed, Twan's leaving for Denver!

Oh wait, I'm a grownup today! Literacy Training, Board Meeting, talking shop. Literacy, Open Play, gettin' work done, non-profit style. Hey Chicago, I'm back, and I brought uncomfortable shoes! Awards on a boat, doors made of rosewood from China, Makers Mark neat. Marks on your face mean you get seven wives, don't you know?

Van is broken! Stranded in McHenry! Allison is having a baby! Park, home, Joe teaches me how to download ringtones (call me and I'll tell you to be patient, I'll tell you to be fine, I'll tell you be better, I'll tell you to be kind), scheduling next week. Back to our house, oh my gosh this baby has the longest fingers I have ever seen, a billion pictures, love, love, love...

Life is moving at an unbearable pace. All I can do is hold on tight and try to pay attention.

Thank goodness there was a beer leftover in the fridge.

Images courtesy of:

HK Photography

AP Imaging

MidwestLove

The Photobooth at Schubas, Chicago, IL

Currently
The Midnight Organ Fight
By Frightened Rabbit
see related


Monday, May 11, 2009

Man, oh man.

Oh, man.

Baby shower extravaganza, engage! I know I promised pictures of all the stuff I made, but I was so busy, I didn't take any. I can't believe myself. Really. If it hadn't been for Dre and her camera-ing at Jessa's shower, I'd wouldn't be able to show you this dress me and Alli worked on. (for days, by the way. DAYS.)



Alli got one too, plus there is the "practice" dress we made... I'm still determined to finish up some booties as well, although that was a process which resulted in an excess of curses directed at my poor machine who had nothing to do with the fact that I obviously can't understand simple directions like "put right foot bottom with other right foot shoe parts." And when they tell you to turn something inside out, apparently, they were serious about that. Who knew?

Anyway, the both showers were really fun - Here are some shot Dre took of Jessa's. I still have Alli's on my camera.



And then, there was the second weirdest show we've ever played. To make a long story short, we ended up playing half our set outside Border's bookstore. Chris took some pics:





Yep, that's Ryan with his drum in a shopping cart up there. I love playing music in odd settings. It's very freeing. Afterward we went to the Junction in DeKalb and hung out until way later than mamas like me can really handle. But it was so great. I constantly grieve over the distance that separates my family from our friends. We have our physical community, and then we have our community that's scattered hither and yon and I really wish they could be the same thing more often than they are. More thoughts on stability and community later.

Hope all you moms out there had a lovely day yesterday! We didn't get home until 4 am so Marky let me sleep in practically all day and then we went to my mom's to hang out. Perfect.

Sorry posting has been so sporadic. I find I'm just running out of time lately, deeply engaged in this whole business of living. Hopefully things will ease up here, although I'm not holding my breath.

Also, Marky's band is FINALLY finishing up their album, and in the meantime, they released a free EP of stuff they'd done a few years ago available for download: SoSoRemission It's good. Have a listen. :)

Currently
End of Amnesia
By M. Ward
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