Steve's art makes me happy.

 

This week was nuts.

Friday came quick though and in the evening, I headed out to The Boiler Room with Nabeel to wait for Stephanie to get off work. Lauren met us there and eventually Twan and before I knew it, I got to see a handful of people I hadn't seen in weeks.

I always feel slightly guilty going out at night when I get to spend so precious little time with my family... but on the other hand, I don't see my friends anymore EVER and I miss that. I don't play shows anymore which was really my main social outlet and I haven't really replaced that with anything else because I don't have time. Anyway, guilt aside, I had a really good time. At one point I told Nabeel that this was the most normal I'd felt in a long time - sitting at the Peehole Franklin, talking about bands and people we know, who's in what project, who's writing, who's playing where... My life is so different now - not in a bad way, but it is just different. Sometimes it feels really good to go out, have a shot and a cigarette and obsess about how The Meteah Strike is getting back together. It's the little things.

After The Boiler Room, we headed to Inner Town Pub to meet up with Whitney and Dustin and a bunch of the Threadless kids. Also really fun. Headed back to Stephanie's and fell asleep in an arm chair for a few hours before heading home to see my boys. I always get a sense of panic when the weekends come - there is so little time and so many things I'd like to do, but the reality is that I'm exhausted and all I really want to do is nap, watch movies, snuggle with my children and my rabbits and tune out the rest of the world. I'm still working to find a balance. I mean, Friday night was awesome, but Saturday morning I was out of commission because I was so tired. I'm not 18 anymore I can't stay up all day and all night and still function. It sucks. The older I get, the more I want to do and the less able I am.

Ah well. I'm feeling pretty good about everything we got done this weekend - I saw a bunch of friends who I'd been missing, Saturday we spent a lot of time together as a family and we got a ton of errands done and today we're all just bumming around together, doing laundry and making valentines. I feel okay about that.

"Our Holy Ghosts" came out this week:

I think it looks pretty amazing. Nick and Dre did a really good job. I never felt awkward about being in the video until it was actually released. Now I feel awkward. Getting attention always feels awkward, even when it's positive. Still. I'm proud of what the guys have done here.

Sorry, this is shaping up to be one of those posts where I just ramble aimlessly about random things. Maybe I'll post something coherent later. Most likely I'll iron shirts and then take a nap. That's just how I roll now.

 

I was feeling pretty spent after this week so we've been sticking close to home this weekend.

I'm halfway done with my new fingerless gloves.

Steve got me this yarn for Christmas. It's the perfect shade of maroon.

I drank some of this:

 

And finished reading this:

On my new Kindle:

A present from my mom and dad.

Honestly, I wasn't sure how I was going to like the Kindle. I'm pretty attached to my physical books. I like the weight of them in my hand, I like physically turning pages, I like scribbling in the margins. However, the Kindle helps me overcome a couple of stumbling blocks. A) I have extremely weak eyes. Reading for any great length of time is a guaranteed one way ticket to eye spasms and pain. I do not have this problem with the Kindle. I can make the text really big and the low contrast is perfect. B) I don't have a lot of time to read but the Kindle allows for a whole new level of speed reading. With a physical book, you can really only speed read from the beginning of the left hand-page until the bottom of the right hand page. Then you have to turn the page and, at least for me, that action breaks up my flow. On the Kindle, of course, all you have to do is press a button. You can keep up a really, really fast pace from beginning to end and get to that magical place where you don't even realize you're reading and it's more like watching a movie that's narrated. I can really consume a book quickly and then digest it slowly during the hours I spend on the road with nothing to do but think. C) My Kindle can read to me. My physical books can't do that. So if I'm really into something and I just can't put it down, I can listen to it while on the road. Generally, I don't like to do that because I feel like I'm not really absorbing the information the way I can when I read but it's really, really nice to have the option.

Also, I really like the clippings feature. It replaces my tendency to scribble passages I liked on random pieces of paper to be left laying everywhere.

So my verdict on the Kindle is a definite "like." I've been happily downloading loads of public domain books to read. I've also been uploading all my knitting patterns so that I can have them with me instead of dragging a wad of crumpled paper patterns everywhere with me.

I came across this on Steph's tumblr last week:

Oh, it's so true, isn't it? At least for me. I want to know how to do everything, be good at everything, learn everything.

"And I am horribly limited."

But that doesn't stop me from trying.

Alrighty - off to do some laundry and go run some errands. I could sit here all day drinking coffee and reading but I need clean work clothes and food so I'd better get it together here.

of houses by the sea.

You'll know which one is mine because the door will be yellow.

Want to come?

Holy crap. It's Sunday night already. Where did this weekend go? Actually, all last week seems like it was a blur.

Monday I went to the United Center with this favorite boy of mine:

To see the almighty Chicago Bulls:

It was a lot of fun, actually. I'm not a huge basketball fan by any stretch but I gotta say, they looked pretty good out there. The tickets were a thoughtful gift and it was a really good time.

The rest of the work week was surprisingly busy and all of the sudden it was Friday and time for a night out with one of my favorite girls ever, Steff Bomb. I did not take any pictures during the course of the night because I am an idiot, but we went to Wildfire downtown for a fancy girl dinner and oh my word. SO GOOD. We couldn't decide what to drink, so we got this:

We couldn't decide what steak to get so we got six itty bitty versions of these:

Each one with a different topping. (The best was double-baked potato. Hands down.)

Then, after some hemming and hawing about what to do next, Steff suggested we head to The Whistler.

It's a tiny little place in... Bucktown, I want to say? (Still getting used to the neighborhoods.) Very trendy. Way too cool for me. We met up with her friendly friend Ryan, and aside from feeling like I wasn't wearing the right clothes at all to be in joint like that, it was totally amazing because of the company and because Steff ordered these for us:

HOLY WOW. I am not a fan of mixed drinks. Like, at all. My idea of a cocktail is throwing some Bacardi in what's left of the orange juice, shaking it around and drinking that directly from the carton. Not exactly refined. But this was SO good. I do like Mojitos, mostly because of the lime and mint so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. And it's made with gin, which doesn't make me feel sick like vodka (which seems to be in every other mixed drink under the sun). Anyway. It was a delicious drink choice by Steff. I am so on board with making these all summer with fresh rosemary from the garden.

After The Whistler, we headed across the street from the Fireside Bowl to some bar I can't remember the name of, where we met up with Dustin, Whitney, Nabeel and Twan. I was handed a shot of something brown and we hung around for a little while chatting about their recent escape from a brawl at Waveland Bowl. We all went home early because, well, we're old and bed is something we like now rather than something we avoid.

Felt slightly nostalgic walking past here:

It's such a mess now. Still a crowd of hip kids in big glasses milling about outside, but it's not the same. I haven't been in there in almost 10 years and I intend to keep it that way. Some memories are sacred and the Fireside in the late nineties was definitely sacred. I can't go back. I know it'll ruin it for me.

The rest of the weekend was pretty low key - we did our weekly shopping, washed the car, all those domestic things. Jeremiah found this at Target right after we parentally decreed that this shopping trip would be sans toys... otherwise I would have purchased it on the spot.

We watched the Packers game at my inlaws, the Bears game at home, I baked some cookies, ruined a whole bunch of my work clothes in the dryer by accident and started knitting with the new yarn Steven bought for me:

This isn't my picture, this is the pattern's author. I'll post pics of mine soon. I'm just through the ribbing now so it's not very interesting yet. You can see the pattern here.

And that is all. It's bedtime already - time to kiss the kids goodnight and tuck myself in to get ready for another week of helping to service Chicagoland's HVAC needs.

Marky's gone which means I'm absentmindedly browsing the internet. I've run across some pretty fabulous things.

1. This necklace. I saw these at Art Vs. Craft and oh, I wanted one. What a sweet little way to spread home state love. It's practical, too. With this little beauty around my neck, I might be able to avoid the "Are you from CANADA?!" question when my accent slips out. Because in spite of what you may have heard, Minnesota and Canada are, you know, different.

2. This necklace too. It's a sweet little locket with two sides. Love it. (And yes, I already put it together that two sides means I could fit pictures of BOTH my rabbits inside. I have clearly turned some sort of corner in my ever evolving rabbit-madness.)

3. This hair color. I would like to somehow achieve this color at some point this year. I think it's absolutely perfect. (Photo from Ruche.)

4. This photo of my family's cat taken by brother Joseph. I love her crooked little ear and the fact that she brazenly naps on the antique lounge chair instead of any of the less irreplaceable pieces of furniture at my folks' house.

5. This blog I just happened upon. I love the Englishness of it, the aqua/red color scheme she seems to be stuck in and the absolutely ridiculous and blatant overuse of polka dots. This picture is of HER CRAFT ROOM. Jealous? Yeah, me too.

6. Red shoes with monochromatic work clothes. Now, what I really wanted to find was a picture of Dana Whitaker (of Sports Night) in those fabulous red shoes with an otherwise gray outfit but this will have to do. I am so doing this at work.

7. Seriously, why is all the good stationary from Korea? What is going on over there that they are able to continually invent new ways for me to willingly divest myself of all available funds to pay to have amazing crap like this shipped across the pond?

8. THERE IS AN ISLAND IN JAPAN THAT IS INHABITED BY HUNDREDS OF RABBITS. I am not kidding. I want to go there immediately. Tomorrow, at the latest.

9. I confess, I really want this. I have the Little People house, main street and a train set. I love them. I used to have this little school house and I would love to add this to my collection. This etsy shop has a ton of adorable vintage things I could find homes for, actually.

10. I love this song. Stephanie sent this to me on a mix and I'm obsessed with it. There are some morning rides into Chicago when I listen to this maybe 20 times in a row. I love the last line, "There's nothing you can do about it now" followed by the joyful chorus. Oh yes, there is a comfort to knowing some things are out of your control. You can download this song for free at their website if you like what you hear.

So, I was sprawled out on the floor with my laptop and someone came hopping by, all curious...

Other little critters came in to join the fun as well.

And still others...

Then it was just me and Bunny. The fact that he has gone from being totally unfriendly to boldly asking for head rubs is pretty fulfilling. (In case you are unfamiliar with rabbit behavior, the chin resting on your leg and incessant nudging are strong indicators that immediate head rubs are required.)

I seriously love having little woodland creatures running amok in my house. (As long as they use their litter boxes - uh, looking at YOU Brown Bunny...) Anyway. I love all my animals but Brown Bunny is special because he's just a tad wild, a tad less trusting... so when he comes and puts his head in my lap, it's magical. I mean, I kind of feel like this:

It's hard to believe now that he was originally intended to be dinner for a giant snake. He wasn't bred to be anyone's pet. He's had a bizarre little life... but I'm glad he's made his home here.

Good morning! The above is what I see on my drive to work most mornings.

This is my morning right now - I made croissants for everyone and have had a very peaceful hour or so catching up on the news, etc... This week flew by - I feel like I spent most of it in a void. I get up, go to work, stop by my grandma's (she's been sick) on the way home with my dad and then get back to my house in time to fall into bed soon enough to get at least 6 hours of sleep. I am tired.

I had thought about taking the kids out today, find a little adventure perhaps, but the truth is, I'm happy sitting at home in my pajamas. Marky's in Chicago working on the finishing touches on the Culpa's music video, and it's nice to have the kids all to myself.

I'm listening to Jolie Holland; Micah just came by and asked me if it was me singing. That goes on my list of nicest things said to me EVER.

See why?

This song is amazing for several reasons - the incredible and highly visual lyrics, her stunning voice and the fact that she wrote a love song about her best friend. I love that.

Anyway, back to my list of nicest things said to me ever. I do keep a list. A physical list. When someone says something to me that's really encouraging or amazing, I write it down and keep it. Words of encouragement and love are precious things and I think they deserve to be saved. Here are some of my all-time favorites which spring to mind often and are lodged happily in my heart.

1. Your letters are alive.

2. You are a work of art.

3. one day, you will be walking when a strange, gurgling noise will spring from deep within your throat --- it will rub against the lining of your mouth, crookedly collide with your teeth and tongue, haphazardly stumble out and into the air, confusingly, --- and you will grasp at your neck in some sort of crazed fright, and then a book will pop out and you will make people happy, inherently happy, only because everything you say seems to be doused in genuine kindness.

Do you have words of kindness said to you lodged in your heart? I think everyone should.

Here's something else I wonder: Do you like to be told when you're wrong? I do like to be told. Not because I like being wrong (I can't imagine that anyone really does) but because I like the option to change. Whether it's something I'm doing, an opinion I hold, the way I'm doing my hair... if I'm wrong, even if it's only someone else's opinion, I like to know. How else will I ever change or evolve? It's much harder to realize for yourself that you're wrong - typically it starts with someone saying something which leads to self-evaluation and a decision to either change or remain the same. Maybe it's something you need to do differently or maybe the person is just plain full of shit but either way, without the information, there isn't the option.

Anyway, I like the option.

In other news, I've mostly stopped my letter-writing, which is really sad. I got a wonderful piece of mail from Stephanie yesterday which I read on the train home and it made me really miss writing and receiving letters on a regular basis. So I'm resolving to write more letters. I can find time to do this, I think. I am going to try.

Although, I think this might be the best package I could ever receive...

Looking at this makes the inside of my heart look like this:

Wow, I just realized this post is incredibly random. Anyway. I'll finish it off with a picture of Jonah and Micah rocking at Skee-Ball:

Ok, I'm done now.

This is Dog. I got her from a pet store when I was 18. She had been there about a year when I got her - she was in a tiny cage and totally unloved.

It took weeks of handling for her to unroll for me.

Hedgehogs are special, you see. They're not like kitties or puppies, all soft at first.

They have to make themselves soft for you. You can't force it, you have to build the relationship first.

Then they are the sweetest, most curious and interesting little pets you can imagine.

When I first got her, I named her Mallory, after the badass character in Natural Born Killers. She was the fourth hedgehog I'd owned and by far my favorite. She was my little friend throughout every major life event in my young adulthood. You don't realize the big part your pets play in your memories until you try to imagine the events without them. When my twins were old enough to talk, they renamed Mallory "Dog" because they couldn't say hedgehog. The name stuck. She's been Dog ever since.

Hedgehogs live, on average, about 7-9 years. Dog was on her way to being 12. I noticed one morning she was flailing around on her side, unable to steady herself to get to her water. I thought maybe she'd had a stroke. For the next week, every time she got up for a drink, she would fall over. She looked miserable. Eventually I called the vet to see if they would euthanize a hedgehog. They would.

So late yesterday afternoon I put her in my pocket and drove to the vet's. The nurse asked if she needed a towel to hold her. I smiled and said no, she was perfectly friendly. And I handed her over, burst into tears and drove home.

So that was Dog. Her favorite thing to do was play outside in her pen, her favorite food was June bugs and her favorite person was me.

I miss her terribly.

My awesome sister-in-law bought me one of the Urban Decay Beauty in a Box sets:

Considering that the set was 95% glitter, I was thinking maybe this was the kind of thing I'd only wear... I don't know... clubbing? (Then again, I've never been clubbing so I'm only assuming it involves a lot of glitter. I may be wrong on this one.) Anyway, I tried it out on Christmas day and the effect was surprisingly subtle and pretty. I followed the instructions as provided except for the glue-on rhinestones which I just could not do. (I am almost 30, after all.)

There's green liner and green glitter on the bottom lash line.

Black liner topped with blue on the top lash and water line with a gold/bronze glitter that goes all over your lid.

See? Not too crazy. It said to pair with a nude but glossy lip, which I did. (Sorry for the bags under my eyes. Late night Santa stuff, you know how it is.)

Anyway, I really like it! I think I could do this on a Friday at work and it would be okay. I noticed one of my co-workers wears purple eyeliner sometimes and it looks so pretty and different, I'm inspired to try colors other than my usual ink-black. She keeps the rest of her makeup really simple and it still looks professional but fresh. I'm still learning to navigate the whole work-look thing. I'm used to just doing the same retro winged black eyeliner I've been doing since I was 17 and not much else. I gotta admit though - playing with makeup is fun.

I think this palette would work with any eye color - green is so pretty with brown and hazel eyes and the bronze color did nice things for my blue eyes so I was happy with that.

Anyway. You can buy the set at Sephora's. They have other Beauty in a Box sets which I think are really handy - takes all the work out of trying to figure out if things, you know, match and stuff. I was never really good at that so this was a really, really thoughtful gift for me. I love it.

Also, remember that post about my recent faves on Modcloth? Look at Cat! She totally snagged that cute deer sweater dress!

Is she not completely adorable? The red belt is so perfect! You can read her new blog here to see more of her cute stylings and musings...