Group vocals. Love it. I can’t wait to see the rest of the video that was taken.

What’s wrong with this picture?

What’s your gut reaction?

For all the time I’ve spent around kids who are differently-abled, I’ve never really felt comfortable with that word “disabled”. Jeremiah isn’t disabled. His hand is different but, I mean, he learned how to zip his coat (a big deal for any kid!) and lots of other two handed tasks just fine. So, his “disability” isn’t disabling him, it just means he’s able to do things differently.

My mom was telling me about this website called Disability is Natural. I love it. I especially love the article called “The Whole Person.” I thought, yes of course my son is a whole person. My sister is a whole person. Often though, too often, people see them and they see Jeremiah’s little hand. My sister’s slanted eyes. They assume, judge, react in fear and ignorance… but only to their difference. Not to the whole person. They negate all the things about them that make them fabulous people by reacting to the part of them that doesn’t fit the mold, that doesn’t look or sound “right.” Every parent of a differently-abled kid can tell you about the staring, the rude questions, the obnoxious reactions. It is the typical people who often disable the “disabled.” When you refer to someone by their diagnosis, “That Down syndrome kid,” you disable their right to be a whole person. When you allow your children to treat children who are different with fear and disgust, you disable their right to be treated as an equal, as a human being. (You disable your own children too, creating nasty, fearful people who will be crippled by their inability to connect with anyone unlike themselves.) When you get irritated on the bus because the wheel chair lift takes a few extra minutes of your time you disable that person’s ability to commute and get around like everyone deserves to do. (After all, no one’s irritated with you, are they? Even though you’re clearly disabled by your inability to experience empathy. You poor, sad creature.) You are impacting their life and the lives of everyone with these judgments and attitudes.

So the answer to my question is, aside from the fact that he colored his hand green (which isn’t that out of the ordinary for a four year-old anyway,) there is NOTHING wrong with that picture. Examine your reaction. Is it fearful? Grossed out? Grateful that this isn’t your kid? Those reactions are normal, but they aren’t right. And it takes time and effort to practice understanding and empathy and to adjust to the reality that differences are natural. My sister has an extra chromosome, and that happens sometimes. It’s natural. Jeremiah’s hand stopped developing at 22 weeks in utero and that’s natural. And those facts about their development aren’t the whole story. Not even close.

I just had to share a couple of rad things I’m in love with at the moment.

These little Shtumps are by my friend Steff Bomb and I WANT THEM ALL. She showed me one at Metro and they are the softest, cutest little forest dwellers you have ever seen. These pictures don’t even begin to do them justice. They are fabulous. She’s sold a bunch already so don’t wait on these guys.

The Letter Writers Alliance! My friend Stephanie just got her membership and she showed me the stationary and stuff – It. is. awesome. I am so jealous. I am getting a membership as soon as I have some monies. You can read the Letter Writers Alliance blog here.

I used to be a Girl Scout (I know, I know.) so these appeal to me especially. Plus, I think I can say I’ve earned them. Speaking of which, I have a bag of mail that needs to go out today.

Anyway. I’m off to start school with the boys!

Happy Tuesday. ♥

I’ve been browsing through all the photos of the Culpa popping up on the interwebs. These are some of my favorite shots.

The culprits of the evening. (Ha, see how I did that? Eh??)

Photos by Twan unless otherwise noted.

Marky – The one that’s mine. See that shirt? I tailored that shirt. I was so proud of myself I kept pointing out how good he looked in it all night. Heh. Also, I don’t think I’ll ever get over just how attractive he looks with a guitar.

Tristan – Best monster friend. I love this picture of him because it’s so different from the hundreds of other pictures of him playing that I’ve seen over the years. Normally he’s in wild motion, often screaming. I like how quiet this one is.

Joelly – Probably the best drummer in the country. Put it this way: his arms were seizing up during the set and I would have never known had he not told me. Absolutely amazing. The set was dedicated to his dad who just passed away.

Dustin – Fellow band mate, mixtape co-conspirator and hands down one of the best people I’ll ever know. I love the illumination in this shot.

(Photo by Dre)

Evan – Into It Over It joined forces with Culpa for extra epic-ness both in the music and beard departments. Fantastic.

Jakey, Stephanie and Nabeel running merch.

(Photo by Michael Ptak)

My brothers were all in the front row. They’re the ones wearing plaid (of course.)

Singing on “Our Holy Ghosts.” Ryan, Jake, Phil, Betta, me and Evan.

Group shot in the side room! Tristan, me, Marky, Ryan, Phil, Nabeel, Joelly, Dustin, Evan and Jake.

Yep. =)

Okay. I have to go to bed. Crazy week coming up.

*Edit*

Ha! Some pictures of the missing characters appeared today.

There’s Twan next to Dustin…

Steff Bomb and Dre!

This one’s just cause you can see my whole dress. Love this dress.

Ha! Nabeel made this. It’s still not everybody who was a part of making this night awesome, but it’s better. And it’s funny. I love my friends.

Last night was Culpa’s EP release show at the Metro. Wow. Just, wow.

Dropped the kids off at my mom’s and headed over to Dustin’s for some record assembling.

(picture by Dustin)

Everybody pitched in and we got it done pretty quick. Vinyl LPs were ready to go, Kevin Micheals kindly brought the CDs from Madison, Nabeel and Twan were awake for about 108 hours, defying the laws of space and time to silk screen record sleeves, shirts and posters… So many people were working together to make this all happen. It was really humbling to see the way the music community was pulling together to see this release happen.

(Picture by Andrea Coan)

Yep, they are standing in freezing cold water in a pond in November. Craziest photo shoot EVER.

Headed over to Metro for load in and got settled in.

(Picture by Craig)

There was some running around, the worst Jimmy Johns experience ever and some general mayhem but in the end, it all worked out. (Except that poor Tristan had to eat Taco Bell instead of tuna.) I did miss Suns and Robbers because I was out running errands which really bummed me out, but oh well. Someone’s gotta do it. Daniel Good was my partner in crime for Mission: Food + Kinko’s. He also produced the best guitar stage mix I have ever heard. I was so unbelievably excited at sound check.

Eventually, you know, there was the part where they were going to play music.

(Picture by Craig)

This is the staging area right off the main stage at Metro. Everything else at Metro has been cleaned up considerably, but this room remains a stickered, Sharpied, perfect mess. I’ve stood here exactly five times. I feel extremely lucky.

(Picture by Craig)

Their set was amazing. I was enthralled… no surprise there. They are still my favorite band. That fourth dude on the far left is actually Evan from Into It Over It. He played third guitar, banjo and did some vocals. The result was the most epic sounding set I’ve ever heard from them.

(Picture by bmdanny)

Anyways. I know Dre and Twan took a bunch of pictures as well, so I’m excited to see those whenever they find their way to the interwebs… don’t worry, I’ll share. I think almost everyone in the entire world that I know was there last night. It felt like every two seconds I was hugging someone. It was fabulous.

Afterward, we headed back to Dustin’s apartment where there was Art of Pizza (which is THE best pizza I have ever had) and beer and dancing. Records were played and we danced in the dining room, happy and satisfied. I left the apartment early this morning to go pick up the kids, and as I headed down the alley, I turned around and looked back at the building and thought about how much I really love that place and all the people who live there, all the people who came to hang out and celebrate this one record that we’ve all been working towards and waiting for together. All I could think was, this is good. This is really good.

Tonight they’re in Decatur and I am home with the little ones, getting the house in order preparing for the upcoming week. I think I’ll make a big pot of tea and watch some move set in 19th century England. Ahhh…

I love our local thrift stores.

We are fortunate to live in an area that’s, well, rich. We are not rich, but the people living in the resort towns around us definitely are. And that means that our thrift stores are stocked with stuff. Good stuff.

Put it this way, I bought ten pairs of brand new pants for the boys, Children’s Place, Carter’s, etc, for a grand total of $28. Stellar.

Last time I went though, the haul was unbelievable. First there was this:

This is a mid-sixties Bradford precision sewing machine. It is worth WAY more than the $30 we paid for it. And it works perfectly. Threading it is a bit like making a spiderweb but oh, it purrs like a kitty and the stitches are so… EVEN! Like, perfectly even! I already tailored a vintage shirt Marky found that was too big and it never glitched once. The seams were perfect. I was astounded. I’m still learning how to use it, however, as it is so very different from my modern machine. Still, what a treasure and what a perfect shade of green! Love!

I also found a Dutch oven (which was actually made in Denmark, I gather from the stamp on the bottom) for six bucks. I am so going to make the best stew EVER in this thing.

Vintage juice pitcher and casserole dish! One dollar and three dollars. I enjoy cooking so much more with stuff like this.

And, the most perfect little orange vintage dress ever. FIVE DOLLARS. This is the vintage dress I always hope I’m going to find. It’s a really light corduroy, so it’s pretty warm and the color is my absolute favorite. I’m sorry I didn’t get better pictures of it. I’m wearing it to the Metro show though so maybe I’ll get better pictures then. It’s such a lovely fit and I love that it’s longer.  

And I found this to go with it. It’s in perfect shape. Unbelievable.

I also got a nice bunch of vintage notions, rickrack, zippers, lace and whatnot. Anyway, that’s it for my thrift store haul. Hooray for thrifting!

This one’s for the girls. You’ve been warned.

So, my mom took me shopping a couple weeks ago and during the course of said shopping, I got roped into getting fitted for a bra. Mostly by way of my mom announcing to the salesperson at Nordstrom, “My daughter needs to be fitted for a bra!” without any prior discussion with me. Now, I’ve been fitted before at Victoria’s Secret. Mostly it involves them handing you a drawer full of underwear and locking you in a dressing room until you find something that fits.

Apparently, at Nordstrom, they don’t trust you to figure this out on your own.

So, a very nice European lady shows me into the dressing room where she instructs me to “Take it all off.” Excuse me? Really? Oh yes, she’s serious, she needs to take measurements and for that she needs to see what she’s dealing with. So, I get measured and she tells me the bra I’m wearing (a really nice and expensive bra from VS) is garbage and I should throw it away. “You are wearing the wrong size! This looks terrible on you!” She then flits in and out of the dressing room with bras in my new size and after I try each one on, she evaluates them and helps me choose one that, I have to admit, is gorgeous, feels fantastic and makes me look, you know, nice. Unfortunately, it was also like $80. My mom kindly bought me the bra as a gift but now, I have been spoiled. I know what a bra is supposed to feel like and my other bras are not measuring up.

I learned something important from European Bra Lady though, which I didn’t know before: The support in your bra comes from the band, not the straps.

Armed with this new knowledge, and loathe to throw away my other bras, I came up with a solution that was so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier. So in the interest of better support for ladies everywhere, I thought I would share. The main problem with my old bras is that I am not a 34 band as I’d thought, but a 30. Bras naturally stretch out over time anyway (they just don’t hold up – bwa ha ha!) so this is also a way to keep your underwear working for you longer. So, I added some new hooks to the band to tighten things up. Here’s what I did.

You will need some basic sewing supplies.

Especially these little suckers. Hooks and eyes. For $0.99 I can fix seven bras. Can’t beat that. Make sure you buy eyes that are going to fit with the hooks that are already on your bra.

So the back of the band looks like this, yeah? You want to place your eyes on that area below the last set, before you get to the stretchy area. If you sew into the stretchy area, it will eventually tear which will result in an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. Can’t have that! You can sew some fabric over it for reinforcement if you need to take in your bra a lot.

So here’s where I put my hooks, again, sewing only on the NON-STRETCHY area.

Closed up, it looks like this. Not bad, right?

If you need to take it in more and you don’t want to deal with adding fabric to the back, you can also add more hooks, like this. My VS bra I fixed was a 34 so I needed to take it in quite a bit and that’s how I dealt with it. So far I’ve fixed two bras this way and I’m really happy with the way they fit now.

Hooray for mending!

So I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about Haiti. How to help, where to give money… so it is very humbly that I ask you to consider coming out to this:

This will be to benefit the school my friend Paul Karner has been working with when he goes to Haiti. We did a benefit for them before the earthquake last year and now they need our help more than ever.

I’ll be there with a deep fryer, making Haitian street food and I’ll also have some items from my etsy shop available for sale. ALL the money from ANYTHING you buy will go directly towards rebuilding the school and the lives that have been broken in Haiti.

Also, it’s Paul’s 25th birthday so you can give him a big ol’ smooch on the cheek for being the kind of person who turns his 25th birthday party into a benefit to help people who need it.

Read more about the school here.

Our friend Joelly’s dad passed away after a ten month battle with brain cancer. The funeral was Wednesday… it was incredibly difficult. Two hours of people coming up and talking about Jeff… it was pretty powerful. I lost it when Amber read her eulogy about her dad though – surprisingly, it wasn’t the “he always gave me advice” type stuff that got to me, it was all the little, silly things that her dad did that made me start to cry. Probably because I also happen to be the daughter of a pretty silly dad, though for the most part that’s a side he reserves for us kids (and now the grandkids too.) Anyway, Jeff and my dad are the same age and it’s hard not to think about your own parents when something like this happens – I know I was thinking about my dad especially during the whole thing, making up my own list of things I would miss if he were gone.

Anyway. It’s been a hard week but we’re all doing our best.

While I was at the funeral, my mom was watching the boys. Not only watching them, but doing a day’s worth of school with them too.

So I came home, my kids had done school, my house was clean and everything was peaceful as could be. Amazing. The benefits of being a second generation homeschooling family.

Tomorrow is the Culpa show at the Metro. I can’t believe it’s here already.

There’s a lot to process right now so I’ll lean to the lighter side of things at the moment because, well, I need to.

This weekend was pretty danged swell. I took the train into Chicago late on Saturday night for an evening of movie-watching, wine-sipping, chit-chatting, book-geeking with my friend and penpal Stephanie. I think it may have been one of the most girly things I’ve ever done. We talked until about 3 a.m. when the rest of the usual suspects came rambling home from their evening’s adventures.

The next morning there was some brunch, some good conversation and a very relaxing train ride home. Also, Stephanie bought me a pillbox hat from the late 50′s. It’s yellow and I love it to pieces. I promise I’ll take a picture soon. I have to figure out how one does their hair in order to properly wear such a hat.

Stephanie got a sewing machine for Christmas and therefore now owns such things as a button tin. I have a lot of vintage sewing notions and so I decided it would be fun to pretend I had a little sewing shop… and I made some button cards to give to Stephanie to add to her collection.

I have a feeling this button card thing could get really fun so I’m going to explore other possibilities as far as creatively sharing my button stash.

Sunday, I found out that not only did Marky have a radio interview that evening to promote Culpa’s show at the Metro, but Venna was also supposed to be there. So off we went again, to the studios of 89.1, WONC. If you live in or around Chicago, chances are you’ve picked up this station at some point. I used to listen to it quite a bit on my commutes as a college kid because they were they only beacon of hope on the airwaves, as far as decent programming and music were concerned.

Anywho, Steve kindly interviewed us, played our stuff (including a live track) and also completely caught me off guard by asking me what one of my songs was about. No one has really asked me that before, ever. People assume they know or make a guess but no one asks me for the story. It was Hammock song he asked about, of all songs, and I stammered on about how it was about a boy who asked me to marry him and I said yes, knowing in my heart that it probably wasn’t meant to be (although, I was hoping it would work out) and the whole thing was about me acknowledging my responsibility and trying to shed the guilt I felt about how I treated this person I’d loved. It was awkward as hell.

It got me thinking about that whole messy time and how there is very little that I’m proud of from the time I was 18 until I was 20 and several of the songs we’ve recorded are… apologies, really. If music if your religion (and it certainly is mine, not my faith mind you, but definitely my religion) than you probably understand how that works. It’s penance, I guess. I sing these songs to acknowledge, to apologize and hopefully to be forgiven.

Anyway.

More later.

PS – This book I’m reading so far has largely been a bunch of fluff and nonsense but there have been a few gems of wisdom so I’m going to stick it out. Sometimes you have to read an entire book just to get the one little bit that’s going to make it all worth it.