No, there’s no Heidi here, sorry.

Anyhow. I have a very specific method for making new purchases and the rules to this game are:

1. It has to be something I’ve found myself wishing I had at least 10 times
2. It has to be something that is going to make my life easier, more productive or increase my happiness in something more than just a fleeting, “I got something new!” way
3. It has to be something I have not been able to replicate myself, either by repurposing something else, making it myself, etc.
4. It has to be something that I have been unable to find at a garage sale or thrift store after making a real effort

This method serves me very well. It keeps me from buying things I’m going to regret purchasing later, it keeps me from buying excessively and it saves me loads of money.

Lately I’ve found that there are a three tools in particular that have passed all four stipulations and I have decided that at some point, I will be buying these things.

1. Bias Tape Maker

Do you know how much bias tape I use? Well friends, I don’t know either but it’s somewhere along the lines of yards and yards and yards and YARDS… I have also found myself on more than ten occasions thinking to myself how nice it would be to make my own bias tape rather than trying to match colors, buy more when I continue to try to “eyeball it” even though it inevitably results in me running out and making a midnight trip to Wal-Mart… I think this little sucker would be useful, would probably pay for itself pretty quickly and if I had them in a couple of sizes I would probably never need to buy bias tape again.

2. Pastry Bag & Tips

These are from Bake It Pretty. I make a significant number of cupcakes. It makes me happy to make them and to give them away. I will happily make dozens of toppers by hand all for the love of cupcake artistry. A pastry bag for icing these suckers would make me happy and tips for decorating would make me even happier, not to mention it would speed up the icing process.

3. Kitchenaid Mixer

Specifically, this pistachio colored one. Now, this one I can probably hold off on seeing as my mom said I could use hers for the time being but eventually, I will have to get my own. It must be done. I bake a LOT, and having this bad boy around would be absolutely fabulous. It would also mean I could bake my own bread more often seeing as the only reason I don’t is because when I knead by hand, I have an allergic reaction to the fresh yeast. A kneading hook would solve that problem right quick.

First on my list will probably be the bias tape maker. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I could tell I was in for it this week when I was talking to Alli on the phone around lunchtime and I told her we could go to the library either Tuesday or Wednesday and she said, “Heather, today IS Tuesday.”

Damn.

Truth is, I’ve been fairly productive. The boys and I made winter cards with birds made out of glitter and let’s just say that the cleanup was… extensive.

Then, I had to pack everyone up and head to the grocery store which took up the better part of the afternoon. We did not maintain our school routine though and that carried over to today as well. Everybody seemed to be glued to various couches with various books which was fantastic as far as me getting a bunch of housework done is concerned, and nobody moved until lunchtime. Afterword I made the mistake of trying to sneak upstairs to work on this stupid song, and the boys of course chose this time to do anything BUT sit quietly and read books and so after about an hour of running up and down the stairs trying to get everyone involved in some activity long enough to permit me to, you know, think and whatnot, I wrote one line about running away forever and came downstairs to address the fact that being a mommy is always going to supersede anything and everything in my life until… well, forever? Anyway. It was in the 30′s here today so when I asked if everyone wanted to go outside for a while, it was met with choruses of joy and excitement, so after the usual bundling, searching for mittens and boots, there was peace and quiet which I used to get on the phone and make a bunch of doctor’s appointments.

Sigh.

This is my never-ending dilemma. If I have a moment of quiet, the choice is always between doing something creative and taking care of my responsibilities. I sewed all day one day last week and for the next couple of days after I had to work overtime cleaning up the disaster that was left from me not keeping up with the housework (not to mention making my own mess) and dealing with the kids being all irked that I hadn’t been entertaining them all day. So if I make the decision to do something non-housewife related (as I’m doing now) I am going to pay for it later, and sometimes, I just don’t feel like paying the piper, you know what I mean? Now sometimes, a magical balance is struck and I manage to do something creative, take care of all my responsibilities and keep my family happy. Those are really great days. We had one of those on Sunday and it was fabulous.

Ugh. Vent. Vent. Vent. Moan, complain, blah blah blah…

Moving on!

Speaking of appointments and what not, my new Slingshot Organizer arrived and is helping me, for the fifth year now, to keep my life in order. Huzzah.

As an added bonus, my hair is now long enough for milkmaid braids. ‘Scuse the dark circles. I’m not sleeping.

I thoroughly enjoy hair experimentation (in this sense, I am a total girl) and let me tell you, having long hair makes this all the more fun. Even if sometimes the results incite responses such as, “WHAT is going ON with your HAIR?!” (Thanks, Twan.) Whatever. Victory rolls rule.

At some point, I have probably complained about my food issues here but on the off chance I haven’t done so recently, let me catch you up to speed.

I hate food.

I’m not particularly interested in eating anything other than peanut butter sandwiches or cheeseburgers or Taco Bell and I’m even less interested in cooking. I do not understand “foodies” or people who are enraptured by fancy-pants menu items. There are certain items I enjoy, but the fascination wears off fast and I’m left with my McDonald’s bag of plain cheeseburgers, french fries and the makings of a future quadruple bypass patient.

That being said, seeing as I’m a human being and my children are human beings and we all need to eat food, I’m trying to get over some of my issues and, you know, cook. I am perfectly okay with spreading canned tuna on crackers and calling it a night but my children and husband are a tad dissatisfied with my methods (read: utterly horrified by what I eat) and therefore, in the interest of being the best possible homemaker, I am stepping it up a notch because the thing I do enjoy about food is watching people I love eat something I made and responding with, “that was awesome.”

So here’s what I’ve been making.

Wild Rice and Brown Rice Cakes with Roasted Vegetable Ragù

The Ups: This tasted awesome. Husband liked it, Alli liked it, I liked it, children tolerated it and this recipe made a LOT of food, including six extra patties which I froze to use later.
The Downs: This. Took. FOREVER. Do not try to make this 30 minutes before your kids are going to reach “I NEED DINNER NOW” critical mass because friends, you will be cursing this recipe while commanding your panicked husband to go order a fricken’ pizza. Instead, throw all the rice in a pot of water in the morning and let it sit so that when you start to cook it (at LEAST an hour before you want to eat) it will have some hope of being done in a reasonable amount of time. Also, if you choose to use some fancy “wild rice blend” like I did, it will take even LONGER.
Other notes: I used my favorite vegetarian no-chicken broth powder instead of actual stock. What I learned: Don’t dump broth powder into things willy-nilly unless you have some sort of sense about these things. Also, tomato junk in the ragout – totally unnecessary. Just throw whatever vegetables you have in the oven and roast those suckers. They will be fabulous.

Cheese and Sausage Breakfast Casserole

The Ups: This was good and would probably go on a “comfort food” type list. My children finished off their portions with nary a complaint, husband had three helpings and I still had enough left to feed Dustin and Evan who were over for Culpa practice. Remarks included, “This is fabulous.” I would also venture to say this is one of those foods that always wins with boys, possibly because you can apparently smother it with ketchup, bringing it to a whole new level of taste-pleasure. This recipe is a keeper.
The Downs: None. Just don’t let this one cook too long. No one likes crusty egg-bread.
Other notes: I messed with the original recipe quite a bit. First off, I used vegetarian sausage patties instead of real meat. I added zucchini, mushrooms and peppers all sauteed in a buttload of butter. Also, I used Texas toast instead of regular white bread and I added three extra eggs.

Vegetable Casserole with Tofu Topping

The Ups: I bet this is really healthy. You can add whatever vegetables you have laying around and it totally works. Husband liked it.
The Downs: I do not want to eat this. It looks gross. I hate de-stemming kale and I have a serious sensory issue crumbling tofu. The recipe warns you ahead of time that all your vegetables will not fit in your 14″ pan but since they offer no helpful suggestions, apparently you just have to deal with it when your ingredients leap to their stinky, fiery doom on your oven burner every time you try to stir anything. Note: Burned kale smells like cow crap.
Other notes: This would be a great side dish for a vegetarian potluck or an “Oh shit, I have a bunch of vegetables that are going to kick the bucket if I don’t use them RIGHT NOW” night. Either way, I’m going to end up making a late night run to McDonald’s after a meal solely composed of this total health-freak nonsense.

Roast Chicken with Lemon and Thyme

The Ups: My kids love chicken, so this was a huge win with them. I like chicken too and I love how thyme smells, so eating this was a-okay in my book.
The Downs: Vegetarian husband can’t eat this. I do not enjoy dealing with chicken corpses, especially when there are still feather remnants involved. I know that inside that little white baggie are props from The Blair Witch Project. Eww.
Other Notes: I didn’t even look at the recipe so I don’t know why I’m even bothering to link it. I washed and dried the bird, smeared butter all over it, stuffed a lemon inside and tied the legs with some pretty twine that caught on fire mid-roast. I sprinkled the top with salt, pepper and thyme and put it on a roasting rack inside a pan. In the pan I put a bunch of potatoes, carrots and onions sprinkled with more thyme and a little olive oil. It took about an hour to bake. A serviceable recipe.

Black Bean Quesadillas

The Ups: Everybody loves these. Husband can smother these with salsa and sour cream which makes him happy, I can eat about six of these in two minutes flat (usually while still cooking) which makes me happy. They are quick, they are easy and if you can just remember to keep some cheese and tortillas around (you can freeze both those items – bonus!) you can always have them at the ready in less than 20 minutes.
The Downs: These can get downright unhealthy, what with all the cheese and sour cream and whatnot. If you’re feeding skinny-ass six year-olds it’s one thing but if you’re trying to watch your figure, it’s not so great.
Other Notes: I didn’t really look at this recipe either. I used vegetarian refried black beans and a mexican cheese blend with some cilantro in the quesadillas and then offered the usual array of salsa, etc. I am going to boldly attempt sneaking some vegetables into these next time. I’m thinking zucchini and corn.

Pasta e Fagioli

The Ups: Epic win with entire family, including me. This makes a ton of soup, especially if you add more broth and pasta than the recipe calls for.
The Downs: This is not vegetarian unless you substitute veggie-bacon for the real thing which, frankly, you could not get me to do except under the most dire of circumstances. You could do it, but you would have to add some other fat to it to make it work. I would try olive oil and about twice as many bacon strips to get the flavor.
Other Notes: Recipe instructs you to pour off all the bacon fat except for some minuscule amount. I was too lazy to do that and the result was delicious. Also, I forgot to buy white beans and ended up using black-eyed peas. I didn’t notice the difference and neither did anyone else. This one’s a keeper too.

Blueberry Sour Cream Pound Cake with Lemon Cream

The Ups: I fricken’ love to bake. This was so much fun to make. The recipe makes two loaves so we had one over at Alli’s when we went over to her place for dinner and one for the next day when Dustin and Evan were over. This got rave reviews all around from the grownups.
The Downs: The kids were not into this. Blueberries all sank to the bottom in spite of me making the extra effort to do the flouring nonsense.
Other notes: I made the lemon cream as the recipe instructed at Alli’s but I wasn’t that into it (who wants lemon rind pieces in their cream?!) so the next day when I served it to the boys I made the cream with just 1/4 cup of powdered sugar. It wasn’t too sweet and it seemed to go over well with everybody so, you know, I’ll take it.

Anyway. That’s all for tonight. Maybe I’ll continue with some food/recipe type posts to keep me motivated. We’ll see. =)

Any recipes I should absolutely try?

Somewhere, in one of my many journals, is a picture of a little blue house. It’s from a real estate ad I found in Chicago when I was 19. The little blue house since then has symbolized having a family, settling down… finding a place to grow roots… having something that’s yours. I don’t have my little blue house yet, but I will someday.

As long as I’m perusing the interwebs for my dream house, how about these?

(I think this one is my favorite.)

Yes, I realize that most of these are in the UK and one is, you know, a lighthouse. But I’m dreaming, and the important aspects of all of these places are that they have lovely gardens, nooks and crannies (I need lots of nooks and crannies in my world. Uneven steps, deep doorways, weathered stone), swinging gates and chimneys. I don’t need a huge yard and I’ve realized the benefits of being out alone on a bunch of property do not outweigh being close to the people you love, wherever they may be, so I’d live in a city pretty happily, I do believe. I’d rather not live in a new house – of all the houses I’ve lived in, my very favorite was a 150 year old place in Rochester, Wisconsin (my room used to be the maid’s quarters!) and I love the quirky 50′s aspects of the place we rent now.

Anyway, what’s your little blue house look like? =)

Things I feel like doing.

So, basically if I could take a road trip to somewhere warm stopping only long enough to make blanket forts, dance and write, I’d be good.

You coming?

Listening to: Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles

Today was a sewing day.

I was in such shock and disbelief at having apparently mastered the whole zipper thing, I just went crazy, like I had to keep proving to myself I could do it, that it was real. Well, it was so real that I blew through my entire stash of vintage zippers and I have a stack of pouches ready to be filled with all kinds of things. I also made some napkins to replace the ones the little mouse used for a bed. It felt good to learn something new, to get something made. I’ve got so many things that are almost done or partway done or ready to be started and I needed to feel some completion. I’ve got boy hats to knit, my mittens to finish, two embroidery projects sitting dejectedly in their hoops… It’s a good season to be finishing these things, to spend time at my typewriter replying to these letters from three months ago, to sit around writing… it feels good to have time for all of this.

The past month has been hard.

I have this scrapbook of what I want my house to look like one day but seeing as the internets provide such a better array of images… well…

Okay, so maybe right now my house is all bedrooms… or one just one giant bedroom. Anyway. These all make me really happy. So there. Home.

Well, the Metro show was a little bit of a train wreck. Some parts of it felt pretty good though, like when we covered Table For Glasses… Papers and 12 Shades felt pretty good too. As for the rest? Eh or OH NO! I don’t know what to say. Clearly, I was not on top of things.

My little brother got a press pass and I was really proud of him, elbowing his way around, getting in there and getting good shots.

He’s got talent, that one. More of his work here.

Anyway, we made it through… some kids even danced.

Now, back to real life. Today we got back into the swing of things, did some school and tried to re-establish the routine. I have to say, my kids are much happier, better behaved and just… nicer when things are fairly calm here. They’re pretty flexible as kids go but they have limits and I think I pushed them too hard this past month or so. It feels good to be past all that now. We had a really good time together today… did some handwriting, discovered they are WAY ahead in spelling and we had a lengthy discussion about Barack Obama. Not too bad for a couple of 6 year olds. My 4 year old drew a detailed diagram of the human digestive system and then wanted to discuss the moral issues of Harry Potter having to kill a snake to save his friend in Chamber of Secrets.

Can I show you some things from Christmas that did make me happy?

I love the Midwest. Even when the weather threatens to kill me. This is my landscape and my heart.

This is what I made for my mom.

Yep. It’s a tiny terrarium. It is home to a tiny pine, a gnome, his deer and a very happy rock. This made me so happy to make.

 
I was extremely proud of these cupcakes I made for our family Christmas party.

Oh yeah. Me and Alli tried to roast chestnuts in my (fortunately) closed oven. They exploded like tiny wooden balls of dynamite and they tasted like weird ham. We laughed very, very hard.

So let’s see. What else. I’m not making resolutions this year; I figure one less promise I make is one less I don’t have to worry about breaking later. I may or may not participate in a monthly songwriting effort spearheaded by some good friends. I may or may not try to stop eating so many cheeseburgers. I may or may not continue to sneak cigarettes when I’m alone. At the center of it all, I find I am essentially the same as I’ve always been. I just try to get better.

Yep. Just like that.

It’s been an eventful month.

First of all, Metro show in Chicago is tomorrow already. Did a little interview with Sam Gorden for the occasion.

Things got kind of unhinged around here for a while. Marky’s band, The Felix Culpa is all set to release their new album which is consuming a good deal of everyone’s waking hours and there’s already tour plans in the works so I’ve been trying to simplify things here at home to reduce some of the chaos.

I quit working for GiGi’s, which breaks my heart. I love the organization, I love teaching kids, I love their mission. But I think we’ve all worked somewhere where the person in charge wanted to do everything, and wanted to do everything their way, regardless of the rules or what anyone else thought. I just got tired of fighting it. Being a volunteer, on one hand it’s an easy decision to walk away from an unhealthy environment because there’s no income to consider. On the other hand, it’s the most difficult thing in the world because you’ve been working from your heart and it’s near impossible to leave the people you were serving behind without a giant hole being left in you.

Venna is also taking a break, which kills me to say. The strain of working for two full-time bands is too much though, and it’s taking a toll on Marky, on Dustin, on me and on our kids. Especially right now while the new Culpa album is coming out, tour plans are being made and there’s endless amounts of promo to do, merch to design and on and on and on. After Venna’s Metro show tomorrow, we won’t be booking for a while and I’m going to concentrate on getting back into the swing of things here at home now that the holiday insanity is over.

Speaking of holidays: I officially loathe Christmas. If I didn’t feel so guilty about not giving the kids a holiday and worrying about what Jesus will think if I forget about his birthday, I would say screw it to the whole mess. I’m sure this is mostly due to the fact that I’ve completely lost sight of what the whole thing is supposed to be about in light of all the tension, stress, weather, and on and on and on. Right around October I’ll say it’s going to be different this year and I’ll start my plans and by December 1st I’ll be in the throws of major anxiety, wishing it would all just be over, please, let it be over.

Anyway, the good news is that it IS over, and my other endeavors are on hold indefinitely so hopefully this will relieve some of the stress here and I can focus on being a good mommy and helping us all survive the winter without going completely insane. Making some plans to meet up with other unschoolers, hopefully heading back into the city occasionally, reinstating weekly library time… We just need to take it down a notch around here for a while to catch up. And I’m at peace with that… or at least, I’m learning to be.

Things my kids make that make me happy:

Visual poetry by Jeremiah.

Lil’ owl sculptures by Jonah. Love, love, love.

Marky bought me a new iPhone. Unbelievable. It’s an early Christmas present and I love it. Especially because I can easily capture moments like this: